hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
