508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this just has baby written all over it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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