so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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