How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
