my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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