the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
honey bunches of taint.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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