just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
