his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
