Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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