No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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