Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
