three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
