textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
