I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize