I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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