wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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