Betty ford says i'm here all night
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
