Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
