Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
