I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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