Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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