Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize