i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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