Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
