And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
