Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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