I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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