Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
