never play flip cup with pint glasses
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We don't watch enough power rangers
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
