Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
