You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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