I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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