im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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