You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
