I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
