Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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