the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
