R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
