If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize