You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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