I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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