Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
