My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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