His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
