My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can I color on your dick again?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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