went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i will never coherently bang her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
