did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
