The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize