just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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