I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
