Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
