her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
