I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
