since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
