On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Im part way to drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
