Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
