she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
