i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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