Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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