Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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