He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
