my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize