i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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