So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
