I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
