Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
