Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
