Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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