Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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